To change, even when the change is one we want, immediately creates adversity.

Why?

One of our strongest needs is to feel like we know what we're doing. Beyond that we want life to make sense, and we'd like our experiences to fit in with what we already know. Not many of us like difficulty, or feeling inept.

 When you start changing habits—even limiting ones—you shake things up.  That's why change temporarily leads to problems. This creates a problem for people who want to change and are unaware that feeling awkward is a sign you are changing.  Just as runners used to collapse as they neared the finish line when attempting to run the “impossible” four-minute-mile, you, too, are influenced by history and by what you are used to and expect.  

To experience breakthroughs, you can't quit. You have to be mentally tough enough to power through these uncomfortable but expectable occurrences. I am going to tell you exactly how to do it in just two steps.

But first I am going to tell you two things that will help you understand the two steps required. 

• In a classic psychology experiment people were asked to pack in shoeboxes, then unpack small wooden spools. Routine? Crushingly. Monotonous? Beyond the pale. The question was how would people deal with performing this task for either 3, 6, or 9 hours. The results? People were able to adjust to the monotony. No matter how long subjects were assigned this task, all managed to somehow get through it—until the last 15 minutes. Then, something shifted inside and they found those last minutes nearly unbearable.
• A pianist friend of mine once suggested that I walk by my daughter as she was memorizing pieces for recitals and abruptly clap my hands or shout something at her. Her job: keep playing and not allow herself to be distracted. But wouldn’t that distract her?  Precisely. But she found a way to overcome the distraction. The result: she developed an incredible increase in concentration that spilled over to the recitals.

What does this mean for you?

1. Plan for and prepare for longer and more arduous effort and more intense discouragements than you could ever possibly run into. Doing so will allow you to have plenty of energy in reserve when disappointments come. If you expect it could take six weeks to replace a particular habit, prepare to continue for 12 weeks.
2. Toughen yourself by prepare for suggestions from yourself or others that you cannot change. Practice smiling knowingly and saying "Cool, I'm changing," when your own doubts come up. Picture people publicly mocking you and mercilessly belittling you for launching your change initiative and you ignoring them. Then when people say, “Oh, I hope you can stay on your new diet,” or other equally “encouraging” statements, the subtle suggested doubt will be small stuff to shake off.

Practice these two steps and you will have the mental strength to ignore others, overcome your own doubts, and continue resolutely on your path.